Crazy in Love
by SisiDraig - 2
Summary: Short, fic about two friends on the pull who discuss why hitting on Ian Gallagher is NOT a good idea. Indirect Gallavich fic. Some swearing. It's nice and short so how about a lil' read?


**Title: **Crazy in Love

**Summary:** Two guys discuss why hitting on Ian Gallagher is NOT a good idea.

**Author's Note: **Not really sure if this works but I like the idea of Mickey being this constant presence in Ian's life even if/when he's not around.

It had been a long evening and so far all the guys to walk through the club's doors had been dogs.

'The talent pool ain't deep tonight,' Blair groaned as Charlie appeared with two beers.

'Not even the bartenders are hot,' Charlie whined. He had a habit of whining more than any straight guy would, he liked pop music more than most straight guys too. That was partially what made Charlie gay - that and his love of cock. 'I thought the point of bartenders was that they be hot, so that, not only, are they nice to look at, they also remind us that beautiful people are thick as shit.'

Blair grinned and took a sip of his beer. It was sickeningly sweet.

'Swap,' he sighed, handing the beer back to Charlie. And on seeing Charlie's confused face, he added: 'You've put lime in it, you twot.'

'It tastes horrible without it,' Charlie shrugged switching the beers and leaning heavily against the wall. Blair watched him scanning the room, his mascara-ed eyelashes blinking quickly in the bright lights. It was a waste of time, every man in the place was fugly.

'Ooo,' Charlie said suddenly, using his drink to point towards the door. 'Now _that _is more like it. Tall, handsome, muscley arms.' Blair glanced towards the door, but he couldn't pick out any guy that Charlie might be talking about. 'I bet he's a powerful top,' Charlie sighed almost dreamily before taking another sip of the lime-infected beer.

'Who are you talking about?' Blair asked. He was peering through the dry ice fog and the flashing lasers but he still couldn't see a single guy worth talking about.

'There!' Charlie pushed Blair ahead of him and rested his chin on Blair's shoulder before pointing. It was like he thought that would somehow make the pointing more accurate … it didn't help. 'Tall, ginger hair.'

'Oh god.' Blair felt the fear draining the colour from his cheeks as he finally locked onto the guy Charlie was talking about.

'I know. Hot right?'

'You can't go for him,' Blair said, turning to face his friend, before grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him with an air of, what Charlie clearly believed to be, unwarranted desperation.

'Why not?' Charlie frowned trying to bat Blair away. 'He's on his own.'

'Do you know who that is?'

'Err … my future boyfriend?'

'That's Ian Gallagher!' And from the look on Charlie's face, the name clearly meant nothing. 'Look,' Blair tried to explain slowly. 'He's not exactly single.'

'So?' Charlie shrugged, he was looking straight over Blair's shoulder trying to wriggle free from his grip. 'Look, he's talking to that ugly guy now.'

Blair peered over his shoulder to see Gallagher and some other guy chatting. They looked like they were flirting and Blair winced a bit as they made their way to the dance floor.

'Let me go,' Charlie wriggled a bit more. 'I can still steal him from there.'

'Look Ian Gallagher doesn't play away often. He only does it when his crazy, psychotic boyfriend is in prison.'

'Prison?' Charlie repeated, eyes wide. He was listening now.

'He's never in for long, but he's in a _lot,' Blair said, glancing back over at the dance floor. Gallagher was looking bored as the ugly guy danced like he was having some kind of fit. 'And every time he's in, Ian finds a guy to screw and when his boyfriend gets out, he finds out who and beats the shit out of him.'_

'_Why don't they just break up if they can't stay faithful?' Charlie frowned. He was staring obsessively at Ian now. It was like he was trying to work out his whole life from just looking._

'_I don't think their relationship has the same rules as most peoples. They're fucking crazy!'_

_The ugly guy tried to kiss Gallagher at that point and Gallagher shoved him backwards so hard he almost fell over._

_Charlie turned to Blair and mumbled wistfully:_

'_Must be crazy in love.' _

_And then, because Charlie was incapable of being sensible for more than a second, he added: 'Like Beyonce and Jay-Z' before dancing his way over to the DJ clearly with the intention of requested that particular song._


End file.
